So, I need some advice, or resources, or something. Anthony and I have been having our issues lately, and I'm ready for a divorce. But he's not, won't pay for one, and I have nowhere to go, anyway.
I don't want to be told to get counseling, that is out of the question. We simply have no way whatsoever to make it happen, and counseling can't help the issues we're having. I just need to know, what do you do when you want a divorce, can't afford one, can't go anywhere, and can't drive so just leaving isn't possible? There's no way I can take Harley, Anthony's the only one who can afford to take care of her, and he loves her, so I'm not worried about her staying behind. I need to get out, though.
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Friday, June 5, 2015
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Another long week
Harley's birthday was Wednesday and my little sister's high school graduation was Thursday, so that means family is in town. And this particular family saps my energy. My dad, stepmom, and baby sister flew in from Colorado, and while I love my dad, my sister has no sense of personal boundaries and my stepmom likes taking the initiative on things, even if she shouldn't.
Point in question, getting together this week. I haven't had a day at home since Monday (I think), and being a stay-at-home mom used to being home as well as an introvert, I am completely exhausted. Harley is too, her nap schedule is totally screwed up and I know she hasn't been eating like she's supposed to. I need a good 12-hour night, and that may still not be enough.
Anyway, my stepmom's been bugging me to spend time with them. The problem is, with Harley's party tomorrow, Anthony and I have been making a mad dash to clean the house. It's nowhere near ready, and I won't have time to clean it the rest of the way. Stepmom told me yesterday, "We're picking you up at noon!" without giving meany say-so in the matter or letting me talk to Anthony about it. He's working today, so no worries for him, but it sounds like Stepmom is going to try to fit eight people, including two car seats, in a car meant for five. Kindergarten says that will not work.
Besides being forced to go somewhere when I have things that need to be done and am too exhausted to really do any of them, I haven't had coffee all this week. I really don't think I'm going to make it through the day without some and even then it might not work.
Wish me luck.
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Point in question, getting together this week. I haven't had a day at home since Monday (I think), and being a stay-at-home mom used to being home as well as an introvert, I am completely exhausted. Harley is too, her nap schedule is totally screwed up and I know she hasn't been eating like she's supposed to. I need a good 12-hour night, and that may still not be enough.
Anyway, my stepmom's been bugging me to spend time with them. The problem is, with Harley's party tomorrow, Anthony and I have been making a mad dash to clean the house. It's nowhere near ready, and I won't have time to clean it the rest of the way. Stepmom told me yesterday, "We're picking you up at noon!" without giving meany say-so in the matter or letting me talk to Anthony about it. He's working today, so no worries for him, but it sounds like Stepmom is going to try to fit eight people, including two car seats, in a car meant for five. Kindergarten says that will not work.
Besides being forced to go somewhere when I have things that need to be done and am too exhausted to really do any of them, I haven't had coffee all this week. I really don't think I'm going to make it through the day without some and even then it might not work.
Wish me luck.
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Thursday, May 7, 2015
It's been a rough week
I don't know what it is about this week, but it's been emotionally exhausting. I know part of it is that I'm not getting the sleep I need, which always puts me in a bad mood. Part of it is that my birthday was a bit disappointing, and Mother's Day probably won't be any better. I want to be able to sleep in and do what I want for a day.
Since becoming a mom almost a year ago, I've started to feel like I'm losing my identity. I don't have time to do the things that make me, me. It takes me three days to paint my nails because it just can't seem to dry fast enough for me to do chores or even pick up Harley. It always ends up smudged or fingerprinted or something. My weight is STILL constantly fluctuating, meaning I'm always either pulling my pants back up or sucking my gut in (and tight pants make my stretch marks ITCH). I can't go out for a walk because even if I don't care about the weather (personally, walking around in the rain was one of my favorite things to do because I stay cool), my neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks so I can't push a stroller around without risking a car hitting us, the weather can easily be too hot/too cold, and it's hard to lug a baby around in a sling while carrying a full diaper bag then have to walk up our rather long and steep driveway to get home.
I want to be able to go out with friends again, I really do. But I don't drive and I don't make any money (besides Swagbucks, which we use mostly for bills), so I have to wait for a friend to invite me out and say, "Hey, I'll pick you up and pay for everything." You can't just go around asking, "Can you take me to the movies and pay for everything? I need friend time." It's been more than three years since I last hung out with friends. THREE YEARS. And that was only because I went back to Arizona for a few days, and my friends there wanted to see me. Before that was at least two years. So, five years has gone by and I've only hung out with friends once, and there's not a single damn thing I can do about it.
The friend thing really sucks. I'm stuck with Anthony all the time, and he's gotten tired of me wanting to talk to him about the same things over and over. I really don't have anyone else to talk to about some things. Like now, I'd prefer to be telling him the things I've posted here, but I've worn it all out with him. If I could, I'd go to a friend instead. While I have friends that I talk to, I need more than a talk right now. I need a hug.
Cabin fever came, peaked, and never totally went away. I go out past our mailbox what, once every two weeks on average? Financial issues abound. I feel like a housemaid and nanny. I can't drive yet, and Anthony never wants to go anywhere once he gets home from work. I work two 24/7 jobs (maid and mom) and never get a day off, because even if one job is out of the picture, I always have the other. Anthony can't change poopy diapers because they make him throw up (can't really blame him for that, but that doesn't make it any less annoying). It's different variations on the same few problems.
I just want a hug.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Guess what?!
We got a new-ish car, and I'll be able to learn to drive it! Yay!
Meanwhile, Harley's second tooth is finally trying to come in! She's had one for two months now, we were wondering when the second was going to arrive. We've had to wait to introduce things like crackers and some chunked fruits and veggies because of her late teething, and it's finally progressing!
While I'm here, I wanted to address a current events issue. A woman in Atlanta was arrested for posting on Facebook that all white cops should be killed. My grandpa, Harley's great-grandpa, has been in law enforcement since he could hold a job. He still does it on the weekends. If anyone ever thinks that a cop should be killed just for being what he is, remember, he might have a baby at home, or a grandbaby, or like my grandpa, a great-grandbaby. When my husband and I moved in together, he took us shopping and spent over $150 on groceries for us to make it through our first month. He GAVE us the car that we just got, all we had to do was pay for a few minor repairs (which he actually paid to have done, and we'll pay him back over time). He is one of the best people anyone could meet, and I'm not saying that just because he's my grandpa. Everyone he meets is touched by him.
The point is, not all cops are bad. Sometimes good ones make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes are big. Sometimes good cops had bad training. Sometimes, the people going after them are simply wrong. So please, don't blame every good cop for the actions of a few bad ones.
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Meanwhile, Harley's second tooth is finally trying to come in! She's had one for two months now, we were wondering when the second was going to arrive. We've had to wait to introduce things like crackers and some chunked fruits and veggies because of her late teething, and it's finally progressing!
While I'm here, I wanted to address a current events issue. A woman in Atlanta was arrested for posting on Facebook that all white cops should be killed. My grandpa, Harley's great-grandpa, has been in law enforcement since he could hold a job. He still does it on the weekends. If anyone ever thinks that a cop should be killed just for being what he is, remember, he might have a baby at home, or a grandbaby, or like my grandpa, a great-grandbaby. When my husband and I moved in together, he took us shopping and spent over $150 on groceries for us to make it through our first month. He GAVE us the car that we just got, all we had to do was pay for a few minor repairs (which he actually paid to have done, and we'll pay him back over time). He is one of the best people anyone could meet, and I'm not saying that just because he's my grandpa. Everyone he meets is touched by him.
The point is, not all cops are bad. Sometimes good ones make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes are big. Sometimes good cops had bad training. Sometimes, the people going after them are simply wrong. So please, don't blame every good cop for the actions of a few bad ones.
Swagbucks
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Woo-hoo, studying!
I've spent the last few days studying my driving manuals, and tomorrow, Anthony and I should be going to get my learner's! It's a 30-mile drive from the DMV to my house, though, so I'm not expecting to drive home.
In other news, with all the political crap that's been going on, I'm just about ready to move to Australia. It always sounded nice there. *sigh* Too bad moving costs money.
Next month is going to be a big month for me. For my birthday, my mom is taking me to Medieval Times (for anyone who has never heard of it, it's a medieval themed dinner-and-a-show type thing). Then I get to celebrate my first Mother's Day (whee!), then Harley's birthday. We're doing a rubber ducky-themed pool party for her, since she loves her duckies so much. Right now, she's banging a loofah with a rubber ducky on top on her toy box, making it squeak. She's such a sweetheart, but everyone says that about their kids.
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ara520/
In other news, with all the political crap that's been going on, I'm just about ready to move to Australia. It always sounded nice there. *sigh* Too bad moving costs money.
Next month is going to be a big month for me. For my birthday, my mom is taking me to Medieval Times (for anyone who has never heard of it, it's a medieval themed dinner-and-a-show type thing). Then I get to celebrate my first Mother's Day (whee!), then Harley's birthday. We're doing a rubber ducky-themed pool party for her, since she loves her duckies so much. Right now, she's banging a loofah with a rubber ducky on top on her toy box, making it squeak. She's such a sweetheart, but everyone says that about their kids.
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ara520/
Swagbucks: http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/Ara520
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Hello there!
Hi! First real blog here, so excuse the mess.
I'm Kimber, some may know me online as Ara. I'm a stay-at-home mom to a wonderful 11 month old girl. Her name's Harley, expect me to talk about her often. My husband's Anthony, he works full-time in a grocery store meat department, and the bills get paid thanks to him.
I'm doing this to help track my progress at getting my life where I want it. Right now, I'm working on losing weight (currently 179 pounds even), eating healthier, and getting into college. But first, I have to learn to drive. Yes, I have a kid and don't know how to drive. That was the result of life circumstances, a lot has happened in my life and I only recently got the time and found someone willing to teach me (at the same time! :O). All I have to do is go get my permit (which is amazingly hard to remember to do when you're a mom and only go out once every couple of weeks), and I'm golden.
While I'm at it, I want to share a picture of my cutie pie:
At the bottom of every post, I'll make sure to post two links: one to my Pinterest page, and one to a website called Swagbucks. It's one of those websites where you get gift cards (well, e-gift cards) for answering surveys, watching videos, playing games, or competing in contests. I love it, as a stay-at-home mom it helps me bring in a little money of my own. They have an assortment of e-gift cards for just about everyone, I highly recommend it.
Thanks for reading!
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ara520/
Swagbucks: http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/Ara520
I'm Kimber, some may know me online as Ara. I'm a stay-at-home mom to a wonderful 11 month old girl. Her name's Harley, expect me to talk about her often. My husband's Anthony, he works full-time in a grocery store meat department, and the bills get paid thanks to him.
I'm doing this to help track my progress at getting my life where I want it. Right now, I'm working on losing weight (currently 179 pounds even), eating healthier, and getting into college. But first, I have to learn to drive. Yes, I have a kid and don't know how to drive. That was the result of life circumstances, a lot has happened in my life and I only recently got the time and found someone willing to teach me (at the same time! :O). All I have to do is go get my permit (which is amazingly hard to remember to do when you're a mom and only go out once every couple of weeks), and I'm golden.
While I'm at it, I want to share a picture of my cutie pie:
Those are Cheerios on the floor and that's an Xbox 360 controller in her hand. It's missing the battery pack but she likes to press the buttons like Daddy.
I'd also like to mention, I'd like to use this space to share some of my favorite recipes and money-saving tips. I haven't been cooking as much as I like but we're planning a big shopping trip tomorrow so I can try a few. If anyone has some recipes they think I'd like (looking for a good, healthy chicken parmesan recipe right now, I've got a sauce recipe but I need the chicken), feel free to share. You can check out my Pinterest page if you want to see more of what I like (ignore the desserts that look good but will probably never be tried),
At the bottom of every post, I'll make sure to post two links: one to my Pinterest page, and one to a website called Swagbucks. It's one of those websites where you get gift cards (well, e-gift cards) for answering surveys, watching videos, playing games, or competing in contests. I love it, as a stay-at-home mom it helps me bring in a little money of my own. They have an assortment of e-gift cards for just about everyone, I highly recommend it.
Thanks for reading!
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ara520/
Swagbucks: http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/Ara520
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